Chris Williamson with Debra Soh, Ph.D., Explains: Why Nobody Is Having Sex Anymore — And Why It Matters for Your Health

If you want to understand why sex, attraction, and relationships feel harder than ever—and what you can actually do about it—watch the full conversation here.

In this episode, Chris Williamson sits down with Dr. Debra Soh, a neuroscientist and sex researcher, to unpack a surprising reality: people today are having less sex than ever before—and it’s affecting mental health, relationships, and even society itself.

What’s Actually Happening? (The “Sex Recession”)

• 1 in 3 men and 1 in 5 women haven’t had sex in the past year

• Sex is declining across all age groups and countries

• Even masturbation and sexual desire are down overall

This isn’t just about sex—it’s about:

• Less emotional connection

• Less intimacy

• More loneliness

👉 The key insight:
It’s not that sex is being replaced… the entire “drive” is shrinking.

The Real Causes (That Most People Miss)

1. Technology Is Replacing Desire

• Porn activates the same brain circuits as real sex

• AI companions and dating apps reduce motivation to pursue real people

• Social media lowers attraction to real-life partners

👉 Translation:
Your brain thinks it’s “satisfied” without real intimacy.

2. Mental Health Is Quietly Killing Libido

• Anxiety, depression, and stress reduce motivation to date

• Many people choose sleep or comfort over sex

👉 Insight:
If your nervous system is dysregulated, your sex drive shuts down.

3. Men and Women Are Growing Apart

• Rising resentment and polarization between sexes

• Unrealistic standards (on both sides)

• Fewer “eligible” partners due to economic and social shifts

👉 Result:
Attraction is harder because trust and alignment are lower.

4. Porn & Instant Gratification Are Sedating Men

• Removes the need to pursue real relationships

• Lowers motivation and energy

• Creates a “dopamine shortcut”

👉 Key takeaway:
Easy pleasure → lower ambition → fewer real connections

5. Hormones & Biology Are Being Disrupted

• Testosterone levels declining for decades

• Birth control alters female attraction and desire

• Environmental toxins may affect fertility and libido

👉 Meaning:
This isn’t just psychological—it’s biological.

What This Means for Sexual Health

Sex isn’t just physical—it impacts:

• Mental health

• Confidence

• Hormones

• Relationship stability

• Long-term happiness

👉 Dr. Soh emphasizes:
Sex = connection + bonding + emotional regulation

Actionable Takeaways (What You Should Do Differently)

🔹 1. Cut Down on Porn (or Take a Break)

• Try 30 days without it

• Many men report higher motivation and confidence

🔹 2. Fix Your Mental & Physical Health First

• Sleep properly

• Exercise regularly

• Eat whole foods

👉 One study showed depression improved significantly just from diet changes

🔹 3. Meet People in Real Life (Not Just Apps)

• Eye contact, smiling, body language matter

• Attraction is biological—not just algorithmic

🔹 4. Reduce Social Media Exposure

• It lowers attraction to real partners

• Increases comparison and insecurity

🔹 5. Focus on Connection, Not Perfection

• Chemistry > checklists

• Emotional availability > superficial traits

🔹 6. Rebuild Sexual Energy (Especially for Men)

• Less stimulation → more natural desire

• More desire → more confidence → better dating outcomes

🔹 7. Prioritize Intimacy in Relationships

• Flirt with your partner

• Add novelty

• Put your phone away

👉 Even small habits (like phone use) reduce sex frequency

The Big Idea Most People Miss

We live in the most sexually open society ever…
But we’re having the least sex.

👉 Why?
Because:

• Convenience replaced effort

• Screens replaced connection

• Comfort replaced desire

If You Care About Your Sexual Health…

You don’t need hacks.
You need to remove what’s numbing your natural drive.

Final CTA

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